Identity Shift: Transforming the Way You See Yourself
Your identity is the essence of who you are.
It is expressed through your behavior and reflects your values, beliefs, and character traits. It reveals your individuality and self-concept. It guides your self-perception. There is an ongoing debate about the influence of nature (how your DNA shapes your character) and nurture (how your environments and upbringing shape your character). Regardless of how much we are influenced by nature or nurture, research shows that identity is formed in the context of our relationships.*
We are born into relationships, and we continue to be impacted by our relationships throughout the course of our lives. As we receive messages within those relationships, our view of self is impacted. Sometimes our relationships leave us with negative beliefs about ourselves, insecurities, and self-doubt. Other relationships leave us feeling encouraged and empowered.
Jeremiah 17:7-8
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”
Three key sources impact on our identity:
1. Others
What others say about and to us impacts the way that we view ourselves. In this case, “others” refers to the people that comprise our primary relationships. This could be family members, friends, co-workers, or other people that we engage with on a consistent basis.
We tend to internalize their views into, “I am…” statements which can be positive or negative. Examples include: I am brave. I am unlovable. I am not enough. I am strong.
2. The World
The information that we receive from our world is focused on roles and expectations. This can be based on gender, race, culture, skin color, faith, roles we hold personally and professionally (like father, sister, employee), and more. These messages are received through interactions with others, social media, advertising, movies, and television. They can be rooted in stereotypes and biases that other people hold, or they can be based in traditions and expectations within groups.
3. God
Our relationship with Jesus can alter the way that we view ourselves. When we learn the truth of God’s word and experience relationship with him, our identity begins to shift. We can allow what God says about who we are to override some (or all) of the negative messages that we have received from others and the world and to reinforce the positive messages that we have received. This allows us to have an identity rooted deeply in the One who gave us life, who does not lie, and who loves us completely.
Identity Exploration Exercise
This exercise will help you recognize and remove beliefs that don’t align with God’s truth, so you can “put off” the old and “put on” your true identity in Christ.
Draw 3 boxes on a sheet of paper, like below. In each box, write down the beliefs you hold about yourself that come from each source. Then, use the reflection questions to explore and evaluate those beliefs.
1. Others
What are the messages you believe about yourself that you have received from others?
Is the person a reliable source of information about you? Do you trust them to provide you with healthy and beneficial feedback?
Is their feedback designed to help you?
Is it possible that you misunderstood?
2. The World
What are the messages that you believe from the world?
Are you internalizing a bias or stereotype that is preventing you from reaching your full potential?
How much time are you spending seeking feedback from social media?
3. God
Have you spent time learning how God views you?
Are there things that you believe that God says that you know are true for other people, but that you have a difficult time accepting as true for you? If so, image God speaking those truths directly to you.
In Matthew 3:16-17 we see God’s pleasure in his son, “As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”” Take a moment to image God speaking those words over you as well. Notice how that impacts your emotions.
While our identity is formed in the context of relationships, that formation is not a completed work. We are capable of growing in our awareness and understanding of ourselves, others, and God. The more that we understand that we were designed by God as lovable, valuable, and worthy, the more that our identity will be deeply rooted in truth.
